Me: *Gets Ice Cream*
Me: *Goes To Room
Me: *Forgets spoon in kitchen*
Me: *Cries*

(Source: asvprock, via traceofspades753)

  • taco bell employee: how are you today?
  • me: crunchwrap supreme

bl-ossomed:

you think you’re a better kisser than me??? you think you’re a better cuddler? come over here and prove it punk

(via littleshortforastormtrooper)

moshturbate:

I want to get tattoos and get laid

(via littleshortforastormtrooper)

politicallyincorrectwalrus:

i love the term “partners”
are we dating?
are we robbing a bank?
do we run a legal firm?
are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
who knows.

(via wereallcontagious)

today my professor told me
every cell in our entire body
is destroyed and replaced
every seven years.

how comforting it is to know
one day i will have a body
you will have never touched.

(Source: impactings, via littleshortforastormtrooper)